​“Breathe, Breathe…” As I am uttering those words to myself, I can feel the tightness in my chest and my heart pounding. I am trying to calm myself down-But my mind is spinning out of control. I can feel the world on my shoulders. I have to force myself to breathe in and out until I am able to release the tension. This is usually the norm for me when I feel like everything in my life is out of control and stressful.
Since the COVID-19 pandemic, it is probably the new norm for everyone- stressing and worrying about the uncertainty of not knowing if we will ever go back to what we used to know as normal or if this is our new normal, what will our future look like.
Regardless of our differences, I think we all can agree that we strive for Peace in our lives, in our minds, in our homes and workplaces. However, with everything going on in our lives, Peace seems so far away. It seems like the only time we will get Peace is if we escape to a secluded island or mountain- free from our problems and harsh realities.
On Instagram, I love to follow travel blogs that showcase beautiful destination photos from around the world. Sometimes, I screenshot the images and just imagine what it would be like travelling to those beautiful places away from it all. In those moments, I can feel the Peace and joy of what it would feel like gazing out to the beautiful clear blue ocean, walking on a white sandy beach and just being mesmerized by the sounds of the ocean. Or sometimes, I imagine myself sitting still by a lake staring into the mountains- no one in sight and all I can hear are the sounds from wildlife and nature.
Yes, can you feel it too? The Peace? Just thinking about those places makes me feel calm and happy.
Yet, when it is too much for me to sit still and imagine being in a peaceful place, I would turn to sleeping pills or natural dietary supplements to relax my mind or sleep off the anxiety. They are my quick fixes to escape my reality and the stressful thoughts that plague my mind- But they are only temporary and far from being a solution to my problems.
Have you ever been so angry or sad because you wanted Peace so bad and could not get it?
During the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I decided to try something different. I just slowly imagined myself sitting with Jesus. I picked a beautiful, peaceful place and just imagined us sitting next to each other side by side. I opened my heart and decided to be honest with Him about my feelings and thoughts. I talked and I listened for His response.
Every time I imagine sitting next to Jesus, I am in awe of His beautiful face and the Peace I feel being in His presence. All I want to do is hold Him and never let go. I always feel protected and unafraid. Even though, He is physically not sitting next to me, I know His Presence is with me and He is my Peace.
Know that Peace is not about going to a beautiful quiet place for vacation or being home alone. Sometimes you will have nowhere to go, and the noise of the world will be loud. Your circumstances may be overwhelming- but Jesus is not far away. His Peace is close by. His Peace is Everlasting. His Peace is Supernatural.

There have been times where my heart was filled with unforgiveness and anger. I can remember one point of my life, where I was tired of getting hurt and being disappointed by people and circumstances - it felt so easy to be angry, distant and unforgiving. Maybe in my subconscious mind, I figured it was helping me. For some reason, I thought it was a way to save myself from being hurt again. But the more I was angry and unforgiving, it was so hard for me to let go.
Just like a clogged artery, my unforgiveness and anger were becoming barriers between me and God. It was difficult for me to connect with God and for Him to use me to connect to others. I was extremely wrapped up in my feelings that I couldn't even find the strength to let go and forgive.
I was on the verge of exploding like a heart attack.
One day, I finally stopped being stubborn and simply asked God for help. In that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and revealed to me that I had a choice to remain in unforgiveness or choose to forgive.
I was mindful that unforgiveness and anger were affecting my life emotionally, mentally and physically. Most importantly, I was allowing my negative emotions to affect my life spiritually, and it was not worth jeopardizing my relationship with God.
So in that moment, The Holy Spirit gave me the strength and courage to surrender my broken heart to God. I accepted the invitation to let go. In exchange, He softened up my heart, and I was able to release all the pain and anger through tears. In seconds, I was filled with Gods' unconditional love, grace and forgiveness.
The Holy Spirit is my heart surgeon.
The Holy Spirit is usually forgotten and left out of the equation, but without Him we cannot live out our God given purpose. Without Him, we cannot begin to understand our Father in Heaven and who we are in Him.
Without the Holy Spirit, all we have is religion.
The Holy Spirit calls us into a relationship with Jesus and Our Father, God. Therefore, the intimacy of the Holy Spirit should be our goal each day.
He gives us the supernatural power to get through this life and to transform our hearts to be more like Jesus - which should be our ultimate life goal.
He is our Heart Surgeon.

Have you ever carry a bag of bricks? Probably not, but can you imagine carrying a bag of bricks from one destination to another? Thinking about it right now, you are probably feeling heavy right now. That's how it feels when we are overwhelmed by our wrong doings and sins.
Yes we are overwhelmed by circumstances and things that are out of our control due to life but what about the things we can control. Yes, the things we can control. Often times, we blame our wrong doings and sins on "human nature" and make the excuse that we cannot control our wrong doings and sins. Which can be true but deep down inside you know what you are doing is wrong.
Ask yourself this, why do I hide my wrong doings and sins? If its human nature, why hide it?
The weight alone from hiding can be overwhelming. Plus add the weight of the act alone of doing the very thing that is overwhelming you. No wonder, you have no strength to pull yourself out of the darkness. Its like someone piled a bunch of bricks on your back.
Unless your Superman, there is no way you can free yourself.
You feel the weight?.... it seems impossible to stop.
Now, imagine someone right there with you, helping you to break free from the pile of bricks that is on your back.
How do you feel now?
I hope you are feeling free. And I'm sure you can picture yourself letting out a heavy sigh of relief.
Now lets go back to the part where there was someone right there helping you break free. Who was right there with you?
You are probably imagining one of your friends or relatives helping you out or maybe the strongest person in the world. But more and likely, they are probably carrying their own bricks. Do you really expect them to carry their weight and yours?
So who can possibly help you?...
Jesus can.
Yea I know, it sounds corny but its true.
Jesus is that someone that can break you free from the bricks of your wrongdoings and sins. He can give you the power and push you need to breakthrough. The power to do what is impossible.
"He personally carried our sins in His body on the cross so that we can be DEAD TO SIN and LIVE FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. By His wounds YOU ARE HEALED." 1 Peter 2:24